My Angel

From the age of 7 I knew I wanted to be a mommy. I received a cabbage patch doll for Christmas and I understood the whole adoption thing with the certificate. I loved her, took care of her and brushed and styled her hair every day! It prepared me for what I thought would be how being a mommy should be. Well I was grown up and married and wanted a baby so bad and the doctor told me I was infertile. I almost died... literally. If it hadn't been for my best friend pulling me out of it, I would have been. She helped me to remain alive and told me that there are still a lot of things I could do. I was still heart broken but I proceeded to go to the infertility specialist and did cycle upon cycle of chlomid and finally conceived. I was so excited that I didn't know what to do and couldn't sleep. I had a rough pregnancy and tried not to over do it so I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my pregnancy. It was a rough 36 weeks. My angel was born a month early and that 1st week of her life I thought I was going to die again... Her bilirubin levels kept rising, they had to keep her under a uv lamp so that she could expel the bilirubins and start to thrive. I suffered some postpartum depression I think from the stress of everything. Our whole lives changed and I didn't think anything would. I didn't think we would make it through and we did. Eight months later and stress upon stress I would not have changed anything about it. She is my beautiful angel sent from heaven above and she saved my life.